Dr. Evan Goldstein Is Radically Changing the Way We Talk About Gay Sex and Anal Health

With Bespoke Surgical, Future Method, and Butt Seriously, Dr. Evan Goldstein is making anal health part of a smarter, safer, and more shame-free conversation about gay sex and queer pleasure.

By: Alexander Kacala

“Oh, you have a Goldstein hole, too?”

Don’t be surprised if you hear that phrase thrown around the patio at Animal or muttered on the ferry to the Pines. In certain corners of gay New York, a visit to Dr. Evan Goldstein has become more than a medical appointment. It is a rite of passage, astatus symbol, and, frankly,

a public service.

Gay sexual health may be one of the strongest community builders we have, and Goldstein has become one of its most visible architects. At the helm of the lauded practice Bespoke Surgical, the general surgeon is practicing medicine in a way that feels genuinely vital: offering care where it is deeply needed, while also creating frank, funny, shame-free conversations around gay sex, queer pleasure, and the bodies we are too often taught to speak about in whispers.

That work extends far beyond the exam room. Through his recent book, Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between, his growing digital platform, and Future Method, his line of products designed to help people have safer, more comfortable, and more pleasurable sex, Goldstein has helped turn once-taboo conversations into something sharper, smarter, and much more liberating. He is not just treating the community; he is helping us talk about our bodies, our pleasure, and our health with more honesty, more confidence, and a lot less shame.

You’ve helped make conversations around anal health, sexual wellness, and queer bodies feel more open and less shame-based. What first made you want to focus your career in this space?

Honestly, I never imagined I’d spend my life dealing with assholes all day long. I started my career in cardiothoracic surgery, but I was miserable. I wasn’t happy professionally, and I wasn’t happy in my own body or identity. After coming out, meeting my current partner, and eventually building a family together, I also began exploring anal sex myself — and without much success.

That experience made me realize that if I was struggling to find open, honest, shame-free information and care, so many other people must be struggling too. At the time, that type of environment simply didn’t exist. So I decided to create it myself, which became the foundation for Bespoke Surgical and eventually, Future Method.

What do you think mainstream medicine still gets wrong about queer patients, particularly gay men and people who engage in receptive anal sex?

The reality is that most healthcare providers still don’t truly meet people where they are. At Bespoke Surgical, our approach has always been community-based and deeply rooted in understanding how people actually live and experience their bodies. Within the gay community alone, there’s tremendous variation in how the anal region is used sexually and functionally, yet mainstream medicine not only doesn’t recognize this at all, but also often treats everyone the same. A big part of my work has been taking what I see every day in practice and helping shape more informed, nuanced conversations to both medical and surgical approaches around queer health and receptive anal sex.

Your work is both clinical and cultural. How do you balance being a surgeon with being someone who is also changing public conversations around sex and stigma?

It’s definitely not easy. I’ve developed a strong routine and have an incredible team that allows me to bridge office-based medicine with public education, social media, PR, and conversations like this one — all while balancing real life with two kids, a partner, and the nonstop energy of New York City. But when you see the positive impact these conversations have — reducing stigma and helping people have the kind of sex and lives they want — it makes waking up for that 5 a.m. Metro-North train completely worth it.

For many people, shame is one of the biggest barriers to seeking care. What do you wish more queer people knew before walking into a doctor’s office?

That was really the driving force behind writing my book, Butt Seriously. So many patients carry shame into the doctor’s office (or do not even have the wherewithal to enter the medical system), but honestly, many physicians carry their own discomfort, too. As a result, the right questions often aren’t asked, and environments aren’t created where people feel truly safe or comfortable. Most people end up turning to Google — and now AI and ChatGPT — for answers.

My goal was to create resources that guide people through everything from shame and stigma to anatomy, bowel habits, anal dilation, and sex itself. When people better understand their own bodies and know the right questions to ask, they’re empowered to seek the care they deserve. We have one asshole, and it deserves to be received!

Through Future Method, you’ve also moved into products. Why was that important to you, and what does the future of Future Method hold for our community?

Future Method was really born out of what I was seeing every day at Bespoke Surgical. When you see ninety patients and perform ten to fifteen surgeries a week, patterns become very clear. Many people were or are dealing with issues caused by misinformation, poor preparation, or products that simply weren’t designed with anal health in mind.

Our first major product was an anal douche solution, specifically formulated not to disrupt the microbiome. It all stemmed from knowing that over-douching and its irritation can increase the risk of injury, STIs, and HIV transmission. Future Method is about bridging science and sex — educating people, giving them access to credible products, and helping reduce risk while supporting healthier, more enjoyable sexual experiences.

You’ve built a career around talking frankly about things many people are taught not to discuss. Has that changed your own relationship to vulnerability or honesty?

Absolutely. At some point, when you spend your career asking people deeply personal questions, you inevitably begin asking those same questions of yourself. This work has challenged my understanding of relationships, sex, honesty, and vulnerability in profound ways. It’s transformed how I approach my own life and relationships, allowing me to live much more authentically and honestly. And it’s about damn time. It feels so right. 

At a time when queer health is increasingly politicized, what feels most urgent to protect?

For me, the most urgent thing is protecting access to care. Bespoke Surgical has become a safe space and a home base for so many people seeking this type of healthcare. Of course, I work with incredible organizations on advocacy and policy efforts through Future Method, shining a light on science and sex. What I directly do is continue providing access — whether through telemedicine, surgery, office visits, education, or books like mine. The reality is that queer healthcare is already politicized. Our response is to keep showing up and doing the work at 150%.

When you think about the future of queer sexual wellness, what gives you the most hope?

What gives me hope is seeing how much this space has evolved. When I first started, people thought I was completely crazy. Now, sexual wellness — especially queer sexual wellness — is becoming part of mainstream conversations. You’re seeing more companies, more providers, and even traditionally conservative industries begin to embrace these conversations and products in meaningful ways.

Future Method and Bespoke Surgical have grown far beyond the United States, and the global demand for this type of education and care is enormous. I truly believe sexual wellness is having a revolution. My hope is that we continue grounding that growth in science, credibility, and access to quality care.

Your practice has seemingly dedicated itself to NYC. What about the city informs how you work,

New York City never stops, and neither does my brain or my hole. I’ve been here since medical school, and to me, New York remains the epicenter of queer life and culture. Being in the middle of that energy has allowed me to build a practice that truly serves the community while also reaching people far beyond the city itself. I’m a worker by nature, and the grit, honesty, and nonstop pace of New York absolutely shape how I approach both medicine and life. The city allows me to provide care in a way that feels authentic — including being unapologetically direct and very much a New Yorker (read: curse words allowed).

And of course, the time-honored question: Pride can be celebration, protest, marketing, memory, and survival all at once. At this point in your life, and in 2026, what does Pride mean to you?

Honestly, Pride is all of those things at once. Every day of my life feels like an act of Pride and, in many ways, an act of protest. Pride means continuing to create resources, safe spaces, and conversations that push our community forward while also honoring the people who made this progress possible in the first place. It’s about visibility, advocacy, remembrance, and survival — especially in a time where many of these conversations remain deeply political. Pride means continuing the fight while also celebrating how far we’ve come. But I am deep in this shit day in and day out – literally!

To follow Dr. Evan Goldstein on Instagram, head here.

Throughout Pride Month, RAG MAG NYC is spotlighting 30 queer New Yorkers shaping culture, community and nightlife right now.

These are the people creating the spaces, conversations, organizations, performances, and moments that make LGBTQ+ New York what it is. Some are household names. Others are the quiet forces making an impact every day.

Because Pride has always been more than a celebration. It’s the people who show up for one another.