Michael Musto’s ‘Rag’ Race: Scandal, Sequins, and a Side of K
From Provincetown meltdowns to fashion-week legends, Musto’s monthly ‘Rag’ gossip column proves one thing: in the community, the show never stops.
By: Michael Musto
The long running voice of quirky mom Linda Belcher on Bob’s Burgers, actor/comic John Roberts is even better when he’s sounding like himself. Thankfully, Roberts has a new EP of dance tracks out, with an album due for the end of the month. The EP — called, aptly, John Roberts — is sizzling hot, one big musical come-on in the dark, for those who can handle it.
“I’ve been playing music for 30 years,” Roberts told me. “Mostly in my bedroom, ha. But my comedy took off and I focused on that for a long time.”
In 2019, Roberts did release the song “Looking,” in which he emphatically said he’s “only looking for one night”, not for love, thank you. His latest stuff — including tracks like “Hotcore” and “Turn It Out” — is similarly hormone-heavy. “My music is horny, for sure,” he agreed. “I used to DJ at the Cock, so what can I say? I’m also a Scorpio. It’s been a lot of fun working with great producers like Big Black Delta, Junior Sanchez, Babydaddy and Kevin Rudolf.” The result really hits you in your handsome groin, to paraphrase Linda Belcher.
LOVE (OF GOSSIP) IS BLIND
Which trans vlogger/promoter says she was up against charges that would have sent her to jail — to a men’s prison, yet — for 15 years, but the charges were mercifully dropped? (Free answer: Linux.)
On a New Year’s Eve in Miami, a cis woman viciously attacked Linux for being in the lady’s bathroom. The woman later passed out in an alley, eventually waking up in the ER. She decided to charge Linux for her incapacitation — a story the woman apparently devised so her parents wouldn’t cut her off for bad behavior. Linux spent nine horrifying days at Rikers and could have faced 15 years!
Which original Village People member was booked on Dancing With The Stars, then mysteriously replaced by Corey Feldman? What’s Jessica Lange’s next role? (Marlene Dietrich. Living for this.) Which eccentric drag star was such a hit at the legendary Café Carlyle this Pride month that she’s already been re-booked for next May? (Another freebie: Dina Martina. She’ll re-blow their neckties off.) Which other Provincetown attraction, who did a Barbra Streisand tribute show this summer, is thinking of next paying tribute to eternal kewpie doll Bernadette Peters?
And speaking of Ptown: Which muscled scene regular went there to star in a musical production — and was even pretty good in the show — but was eventually fired for being on so much K that the cast refused to keep going on with him? As retribution, he locked the cast in their dressing rooms, took off, and later demanded money from the producer for “breach of contract!” No, it wasn’t Patti LuPone.
Queer Media Strikes Back
News about the news: Brian Calle (who owns L.A. Weekly, Village Voice and Paper) has been commingling with Stephen Gan (known for Visionaire and V magazine) to start a new fashion publication. Also, Scott Stiffler, who does Chelsea Community News, is launching a sister publication this month called LGBTQ Community News. Against all odds, queer media is on the rise again. But you KNEW that, Rag Hag!
As for a previously mentioned diva: I hear that lyricist Scott Wittman (Hairspray) — who conceived and directed LuPone on Bway in 1995 — is devising a new show costarring the belting diva and Bridget Everett. I hope it’s really loud.
And finally, the Blonds — whose work has adorned many a one-named diva (Beyoncé, Madonna, Gaga) — just strutted their dazzling designs at Prince George Ballroom. The sleek duo – David and Phillipe Blond — turned it out, with a procession of slinky Glamazons on a fashion safari to heaven. In the glittery crowd, I hung out with ‘80s It girl Dianne Brill (who’s writing a new memoir) and Aquaria, winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race, season 10. Last time I saw the sweet Aquaria, she was a little down in the dumps, but this time she told me she was feeling great. “No self-harming thoughts?” I simpered. “No!” she beamed. “Well, once in a while,” she laughed. “You read the news and are like ‘Oy’!” She must be reading Rag! – Michael Musto